shanghaied_and_amsterdamned

amsterdam_hash_house_harriersAmsterdam Hash House Harriers
Run 1031 Saturday May 25, 2013

 

THE VENEREAL DECEASE RUN PART 2 (SHANGHAI RED LIGHT DISTRICT EDITION)

 

Hello Amsterdam! This week’s hash is brought to you courtesy of the two shittiest hares Shanghai has to offer; Pube Chin and Creme Brulee aka team Pube Creme.

 

Now we know that both Amsterdam and Shanghai have seen a string of shocking events happen in the last couple of months, with the March timeframe being especially devastating for the two cities. Interpol is looking into these but we have strong reason to believe that team Pube Creme is behind most of these. Here’s a refresher for those who may not be up to speed

 

– End February : Amsterdam raises prostitution age to 21 from 18 … that’s 6 months after Pube Chin’s arrival in Amsterdam
– Early March : Amsterdam’s oldest prostitute retires exactly a day before Pube Chin lands in Shanghai
– Early / Mid March : Two hashers lost in the mountains. Anybody seen Creme Brulee? Pube Chin? … sex on the hash??
– Mid March : 20,000 pigs wash up on the HuangPu river, a week after Creme Brulee set a hash trail along the river banks
– End March : H7N9 Avian Flu breakout in Shanghai

 

I am no Sherlock Homes but it doesn’t take a genius to figure out what happened here. Once Pube Chin moved to Amsterdam, he began his reign of terror in the Red Light District. He contracted some very severe smelly, foul and itchy venereal down there; worse than anything Amsterdam has ever seen. A venereal so bad that the city of Amsterdam had to start a “save the kids kid hookers from Pube Chin” campaign; so bad that the world’s oldest hooker had to call it quits after a night with Pube Chin. Pube Chin then fled Amsterdam for Shanghai to let things cool down because Interpol was closing in on him where he and Creme Brulee happened to “get lost” during a hash in the woods of Shanghai. We like to think that what happened in the woods stayed in the woods but Creme Brulee has been known to have a liking for farm animals, flying creatures … basically anything with a pulse. The poor pigs of Shanghai couldn’t handle the mutated form of the Pube Creme itchy venereal down there syndrome, the birds aren’t doing too well so far and Shanghai is 100% under siege by the Pube Creme itchy venereal down there STD.

 

Ladies and gentlemen of the Amsterdam Hash, team Pube Creme guarantees that you will leave this run with an STD … unless of course you bring some Pube Cream to help sooth the itchy venereal down there. This is a Chinese theme run so please come dressed in your finest Chinese garb (Asian will do fine as well). We promise the finest Chinese liquor and the best of the shittiest songs ever sang in Shanghai.

 

Run Type : A – B

Meeting Point (A) : Church square Oostzaan (crossing of Kerkbuurt and Kerkstraat) See map here

Transportation to (A)

Bus suggested route for a 3PM start
Bus 392 (Connexxion) direction Zaandam (4 times per hour),
Departure: CS Kamperbrug AMS, – 14:24
Arrival: De Kunstgreep (Oostzaan), – 14:46

Transportation by car
See Google maps. There is plenty of free parking space around.
There will be a car to bring people back to A after the circle

Restaurant (B) : Hoi Tin Restaurant, Zeedijk 122-124, 020-6256451/6264408 See map here Reservations at 7PM.

On On On : Amsterdam

 

 

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