THE HASH HYMNAL

A SMALL DICK

(To the tune of: It’s a Small, Small World)

Well, it isn’t long and it isn’t thick,
It grows too slow and it comes too quick
It gets lost in a twat,
But it’s all that he’s got,
It’s small, small dick.

CHORUS:

It’s a small dick after all,
It’s a small dick after all,
Always limp from alcohol,
it’s a small, small dick.

A SOLDIER

 

Asshole, asshole,
A soldier I will be,
To piss, to piss,
Two pistols on my knee,
To fight, to fight,

For cunt-ry and for queen
Asshole, asshole,
Asshole, asshole,
A soldier I will be.

BORN ILLEGITIMATE

All Australians are born illegitimate

Born illegitimate, born illegitimate
All Australians are born illegitimate
Bastards through and through

They ain't got no birth certificate
Birth certificate, birth certificate
They ain't got no birth certificate
Bastards through and through

They don't know who their daddy is
Who their daddy is, who their daddy is
They don't know who their daddy is
Bastards through and through

They all think they're aboriginals
Aboriginals, aboriginals
They all think they're aboriginals
Bastards through and through

Their mothers are dirty fuckin' whores
Dirty fuckin' whores, dirty fuckin' whores
Their mothers are dirty fuckin' whores
Bastards through and through

BROTHER HASHER

Here's to brother hasher, brother hasher, brother hasher
Here's to brother hashers, may he chug-a-lug
He's happy, he's jolly, he's fucked up by golly
Here's to brother hasher, may he chug-a-lug
So drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker
Drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker
Here's to brother hasher, may he chug-a-lug

BULLSHIT
(To the tune of: My Bonnie Lies Over The Ocean)


Bullshit, bullshit
It all sounds like bullshit to me
To me
Bullshit, bullshit
It all sounds like bullshit to me

CANADIAN HASH SONG

Way up north in Canada the air is getting cold,

We're running out of money and we're running out of gold.

That is why we earn our living... Clubbing baby seals!

 

You can hit them with a club you can hit them with a brick,

You can poke them in the eye with your eye poking stick.

That is how we earn our living... Killing the baby seals.

 

You can slash them on the head, you can slash them in the throat,

You can throw them in the back of your Newfie fishing boat.

That is how we earn our living... Slashing the baby seals!

COUGER

(To the tune of: Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star)

Cougar, cougar on the prowl.
Get that guy to make you growl!
Now the cougar’s in a cage.
Oops! That guy was underage.
Cougar, cougar don’t you frown.
Now it’s time to drink it …down down…

DONNIE THE RETARD
(To the tune of: Frosty The Snowman)


Donnie the retard
Had an 8 pound melon head
He was five foot three and he said to me
Hiii, I'm Dooonnnnnniiieee

DOWN, DOWN, DOWN YOUR BEER

(To the tune of: Row your Boat)

Down, down, down your beer
To pay for all your crimes
Quit complaining about the taste
It isn’t Piss/Sperm this time

Blow, blow, blow his cock,
Gently like a dream.
Carefully, carefully, carefully, carefully
Till your mouth is filled with cream.

DOWN DOWN SONG
 

This is your down down song
It isn't very long
Drink it down, down, down

DOUGH

(To the tune of: Do-Re-Mi from The Sound of Music)

 

Dough, the stuff that buys me beer,
Ray, the guy who serves me beer,
Me, the guy who drinks me beer,
Fa, a long way to the john,
So, I’ll have another beer,
La, I’ll have another beer,
Tea, no thanks I’ll have a beer,
And that brings us back to,
Down, down, down,down…

EL CAMINO
El camino

El el camino
El camino
El el camino
The front is like a car
The back is like a truck
The front is where you drive
The back is where you
El camino
El el camino

FLIP HER OVER

(To the tune of: If You're Happy And You Know It by Dr. Alfred B. Smith)

 

If your girlfriend tastes like shit,

flip her over

If your girlfriend tastes like shit,

flip her over

If your girlfriend tastes like shit,

that's her asshole not her clit

If your girlfriend tastes like shit, flip her over

FRENCHMAN

(To the tune of: The French National Anthem)

A Frenchman went to the lavat’ry
For to have a jolly good shit, shit, shit,
He pulled his pants and trousers down
So that he could revel in it, it, it,
But when he reached for the paper,
He found that someone had been there before….
Où est le papier? Où est le papier?
Monsieur, Monsieur, j’ai fait manure.
Où est le papier?

GET A LIFE
(To the tune of: The William Tell Overture)


Get a life, get a life, get a life, life, life
Get a life, get a life, get a life, life, life
Get a life, get a life, get a life, life, life
Get a life, get a life, life, life

GIVE IT A BLOW

(To the tune of: Let it Snow)

Well, the weather outside is frightful,
But his dick is so delightful.
If you really want to see it grow,
Give it a blow, give it a blow, give it a blow.

Girls’ version:

Her tits are so delightful,
So if you want to see her fuck,
Give’m a suck, give’m a suck, give’m a suck.

HASHERS, MEET THE HASHERS

(The the tune of: The Flintstones Theme Song)

Hashers, meet the hashers,
They’re the biggest drunks in history,
From the Shanghai House Hash House,
They’re the leaders in debauchery.
Half minds, trailing shiggy through the years,
Watch them as they down a lot of beers,
Down down, down down down down

HASH HOUSE HARRIERS 

(To the tune of: The Adams Family Theme)

Chorus:

Duh-duh-duh-duh, (snap snap (with fingers))
Duh-duh-duh-duh, (snap snap)
Duh-duh-duh-duh,
Duh-duh-duh-duh,
Duh-duh-duhduh. (snap snap)

Verse

Their running is convulsive,
Their drinking is compulsive.
They’re morally repulsive,
The Hash House Harriers.

Chorus

Their flatulence is rude and,
Their genitals protrude when,
They’re running in the nude oh,
The Hash House Harriers.

Chorus

They’re always shiggy tracking,
From constantly bushwacking.
Intelligence they’re lacking,
The Hash House Harriers.

THE HARES

 

And the hares, and the hares
And the hares of dicky-di-do
Hang down to her knees


One black one, one white one
And one with a little shite on
And one with a fairy light on
To show us the way

And the hares, and the hares
And the hares of dicky-di-do
Hang down to her knees

HE OUGHT TO BE PISSED ON

He ought to be publicly pissed on.
He ought to be publicly shot (Bang Bang!)
He ought to be tied to a urinal
And kept there to fester and rot.

HER LEFT TIT

Her left tit hangs down to her belly
Her right tit hangs down to her knee
If her left tit did equal her right tit
She'd get lots of weenie from me

HE'S THE MEANEST

He’s the meanest,
He sucks the horse’s penis,
He’s the meanest,
He’s a horse’s ass.
All he does is pound it,
Ever since he found it,
He’s the meanest,
He’s a horse’s ass.
He’s always pissing on us,
He’s rotten and dishonest,
He’s the meanest,
He’s a horse’s ass.
Drinking down, down, down, down,

HIS ONE SKIN . . .

(To the tune of: My Bonny)


His one skin hangs down to his two skin,
His two skin hangs down to his three,
His three skin hangs down to his foreskin,
His foreskin hangs down to his knee.
Roll back, roll back,
Roll back my foreskin for me, for me.
Roll back, roll back,
Oh, roll back his foreskin for me.
Drink it down, down, down, down

HITLER HAS ONLY GOT ONE BALL

(To the tune of: Colonel Bogey March)

Hitler
Has only got one ball
Goering
Has two, but very small
Himmler
Has something similar
But poor old Goebbels
Has no balls
At all

HYMN

 

Hymn, hymn
Fuck him

LOVE ME TENDER

Love me Tender, Love me sweet
Wrap your lips around my meat
Watch me smile and watch me grin
As my cum rolls down, down down down

MASTURBATION

(To the tune of: Funiculi, Funicula)

Last night I stayed up late and masturbated,
It felt so good, I knew it would.
Last night I stayed up late to masturbate,
It felt so nice, I did it twice.
You should have seen me on the short strokes,
It felt so grand, I used my hand,
And you should have seen me on the long strokes,
It felt so neat, I used my feet.
Chorus:

Shake it, break it, beat it on the floor,
Smash it, bash it, thrust it through the door,
Some people seem to think that fornication’s rather grand,
But for all-around enjoyment,

I would rather use my hand!

MRS MURPHY

 

Take it in your hand Mrs Murphy
For it only ways a quarter of a pound
It’s got hair on its neck like a turkey (gobble, gobble!)
And it spits when you rub it up and down, down, down

RULE BRITANNIA
 

Rule britannia, marmalade and jam
5 chinese firecrackers in your asshole
Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang

Rule britannia, marmalade and jam
3 chinese firecrackers in your asshole
Bang, bang, bang

Rule britannia, marmalade and jam
1 chinese firecracker in your asshole
Bang

SHE'LL BE CUMMING . . .

(To the tune of: She’ll be Coming Round the Mountain)


She’ll be huffing like a freight train when she cums,
She’ll be huffing like a freight train when she cums,
She’ll be huffing like a freight train, huffing like a freight train,
She’ll be huffing like a freight train when she cums.
CHORUS:
Singing God, I’m coming, don’t stop now,
Singing God, I’m coming, don’t stop now,
Singing God, I’m coming, God I’m coming,
God, I’m coming, don’t stop now

drink it down, down, down….

SHITONYA
 

Shitonya, shitonya, shitonya
In Russia it means I love you
If I had my way I'd shitonya all day
Shitonya, shitonya, shitonya

Pissonya, pissonya, pissonya
In Russia it means I love you
If I had my way I'd pissonya all day
Pissonya, pissonya, pissonya

Cumonya, cumonya, cumonya
In Russia it means I love you
If I had my way I'd cumonya all day
Cumonya, cumonya, cumonya

SHITTY TRAIL

S.H.I.T.T.Y., T.R.A.I.L.
Shitty trail (it sucked!), shitty trail (it was shit!),
the hares have gone and laid a shitty trail!
I would rather drink a beer than run your shitty trail,
S.H.I.T.T.Y. T.R.A.I.L.

SWING LOW

Chorus:

Swing Lo, Sweet Chariot
Cumming for to Carry Me Home
Swing Lo, Sweet Chariot
Cumming for to Carry Me Home
I looked over Jordan, and what did I see?
Cumming for to Carry Me Home
A band of angels, cumming after me,
Cumming for to Carry Me Home
Chorus
If you get there, before I do!
Cumming for to Carry Me Home
Tell all my friends,
I’m cumming too.
Cumming for to Carry Me Home
(Chorus)

Sometimes, I’m up, Sometimes, I’m down

Cumming for to Carry Me Home

But I knows in my soul,

I’m heaven bound,

Cumming for to Carry Me Home

Chorus

Reggae Version:

Sing first verse, clap the rhythm, and swing your body

Humming Version: Hum the tune, shout out loud every “Cumming”

Silent Version:

Think the tune, shout out loud every “Cumming”

Men’s Version:

Sing ” Swing Lo, Sweet Chariot, Cumming ” then tilt your head to the side and make snoring sounds.

Girl’s Version:

Sing ” Swing Lo, Sweet Chariot, Cumming, cumming, cumming, cumming…..” leaning back with your hands behind your head and your pelvis thrust forward

TWENTY TOES

There is a game of twenty toes.
It’s played all over town.
The girls, they play with ten toes up.
The boys with ten toes down, down….

WEINER BREATH
 

Who's got weiner breath?
She's got weiner breath
Who's got weiner breath?
She's got weiner breath
Cause she's been suckin' that ding-a-ling
Ding-a-ling-a-ling
Suckin' that ding-a-ling
Ding-a-ling-a-ling
Suckin' that knob like corn on the cob
Suckin' that ding-a-ling
Ding-a-ling-a-ling

WHIP IT OUT AT THE BALL GAME

(To the tune of: Take Me Out To The Ball Game)

Whip it out at the ball game

Wave it round at the crowd

Dip it in peanuts and crackerjacks

I don't care if you give it a whack

Cause it's beat your meat at the ball game

If you don't cum it's a shame

Cause it's one, two,

you're covered in gooA

t the old ball game

WHY ARE WE WAITING

 

Why are we waiting, could be fornicating
Oh why are we waiting so fucking long
Why are we waiting, could be masturbating
Oh why are we waiting so fucking long

WHY WAS HE BORN SO BEAUTIFUL

 

Why was he born so beautiful?
Why was he born to all?
He’s no fucking use to anyone.
He’s no fucking use at all.
He may be a joy to his mother.
But he’s a pain in the asshole to me.
So drink it down down down down

WONDERFUL MORNING

Oh what a wonderful morning,
Oh what a wonderful day.
I got the wonderful feeling,
Everything’s going to shit

ZULU WARRIOR
 

Drink it down you Zulu Warrior
Drink it down you Zulu Chief, Chief, Chief
Ah Zuma, Zuma, Zuma
Ah Zuma, Zuma, hey

 

AND THEN WE CAME TO THE END . . . 


RA says:

MAY THE HASH GO IN PEACE,
Pack says:

MAY THE HASH GET A PIECE!