Dungeons & Drag Queens - GM: The head hasher. The chairman of the board. The big cheese. The HMFIC. The guiding light. Gispert's legacy. The GM is not simply a figure head for the hash, rather she personifies the hash's character (or lack thereof.) She leads with a dynamic strength that permeates the fabric of the organization. Both directly, and through the hash officers, she gives inspiration, direction, and vision to all. This position ranks only below Hash Cash, Hare Raiser, Haberdasher, and RA in real importance to the hash.
Kitchen Gas Leak (KGL) - HABERDASHER: This is a person who has a flair for fashion, a head for business (who said head?), and the showmanship of P.T. Barnum. She's responsible for the design, procurement, warehousing, merchandising, and vending of items of apparel and various trinkets to the hash. Prior flea market or circus midway experience preferred.
Barking Mad & Kitchen Gas Leak - HARE RAISERS: The Hare Raiser makes sure that there's a running and walking hare for each hash. It's a thankless task and one that has the added fear factor for the Hare Raiser of knowing that should they fail in their duties they will become the hare if they can't find anyone else to do it. If you're reading this and you're NOT a Hare Raiser - go on - do your Hare Raisers a favor and sign up!
Power Bottom - HASH CASH: The holder of the purse-strings. Someone needs to dash about the start of each hash begging for money. Someone has to keep track of what comes in and what goes out (commonly referred to as "the old in and out.") These generally unappreciated duties fall on the shoulders of the Hash Cash. This trustworthy soul must withstand the whining of the Hares who have overspent, the whimpering of those who forgot their fees, and the interrogations of those who mistakenly think there should be some sort of accounting for hash funds.
Dungeons and Drag Queens - RA (RELIGIOUS ADVISOR): Keeper of the faith. Enforcer of the scriptures. This is the hasher who has seen the light and can taste in his soul the true spirit of Hashing. The religious advisor spreads the word and inspires the zest and zeal of the hash in all participants. Any hasher found transgressing the spirit of hashing is disciplined by the RA. The keeper of the sacred Laws of Hashing and comes up with sufficiently plausible lies to cover any serious questions of propriety of actions within the hash...& give out down downs!
Just Another Mark - HASH FLASH: The person who captures for posterity all embarrassing hash moments on film. The hash flash must have an acute sense of the absurd to know what to take photos of, and also a small degree of reliability to bring a camera / "smart" phone, take pictures, and put only the finest thereof into the sacred photo album.
Bloody Oral - HARE WRANGLER: Has the unenviable job of trying to wrestle the hares for the coming week into some semblance of disorganization. The Wrangler is responsible for creating the WeChat group in which the hares will keep Mismanagement updated of meeting points, basic trail info and their dismal failure to yet again buy chalk.
Old Fashioned Verbal Diarrhea (OFVD) - WEBWANKER: The masochists dream. This hasher struggles with the influx of often competing information from Hares, Hare Wrangler, GM, RA, and other members of the kennel, misinterprets that information and posts it all on the web (and Facebook for those who can actually access it!) for all to find and rely upon.