The Shanghai Hash is a singing hash. That means every charge comes with a song to celebrate your many misdeeds.
The Hash Hymnal contains hundreds of songs - worldwide classics, regional regulars, and even hash-specific specialties.
But we don't give a shit about any of that.
This is the Shanghai Hash. And to Shanghai Hash right, you need to know our recurring repertoire of musical mayhem.
Below you can find the songs in regular rotation at Shanghai Hash circle. So no excuse if you don't know the words - unless you are in the mood for an extra down-down.
THE SHANGHAI SPECIAL
What happens in Shanghai, stays in Shanghai.
But come to the hash and we promise to share our signature tune. It's worth it. We promise. As long as you've had A LOT to drink.
In the meantime, check out the other songs we guarantee will be sung during your visit to the Shanghai Hash.
A SMALL DICK
(To the tune of: It’s a Small, Small World)
Well, it isn’t long and it isn’t thick,
It grows too slow and it comes too quick
It gets lost in a twat,
But it’s all that he’s got,
It’s small, small dick.
CHORUS:
It’s a small dick after all,
It’s a small dick after all,
Always limp from alcohol,
it’s a small, small dick.
A SOLDIER
Asshole, asshole,
A soldier I will be,
To piss, to piss,
Two pistols on my knee,
To fight, to fight,
For cunt-ry and for queen
Asshole, asshole,
Asshole, asshole,
A soldier I will be.
BULLSHIT
(To the tune of: My Bonnie Lies Over The Ocean)
Bullshit, bullshit
It all sounds like bullshit to me
To me
Bullshit, bullshit
It all sounds like bullshit to me
DONNIE THE RETARD
(To the tune of: Frosty The Snowman)
Donnie the retard
Had an 8 pound melon head
He was five foot three and he said to me
Hiii, I'm Dooonnnnnniiieee
DOWN, DOWN, DOWN YOUR BEER
(To the tune of: Row your Boat)
Down, down, down your beer
To pay for all your crimes
Quit complaining about the taste
It isn’t Piss/Sperm this time
Blow, blow, blow his cock,
Gently like a dream.
Carefully, carefully, carefully, carefully
Till your mouth is filled with cream.
DOWN DOWN SONG
This is your down down song
It isn't very long
Drink it down, down, down
DOUGH
(To the tune of: Do-Re-Mi from The Sound of Music)
Dough, the stuff that buys me beer,
Ray, the guy who serves me beer,
Me, the guy who drinks me beer,
Fa, a long way to the john,
So, I’ll have another beer,
La, I’ll have another beer,
Tea, no thanks I’ll have a beer,
And that brings us back to,
Down, down, down,down…
EL CAMINO
El camino
El el camino
El camino
El el camino
The front is like a car
The back is like a truck
The front is where you drive
The back is where you
El camino
El el camino
FLIP HER OVER
(To the tune of: If You're Happy And You Know It by Dr. Alfred B. Smith)
If your girlfriend tastes like shit,
flip her over
If your girlfriend tastes like shit,
flip her over
If your girlfriend tastes like shit,
that's her asshole not her clit
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, flip her over
GET A LIFE
(To the tune of: The William Tell Overture)
Get a life, get a life, get a life, life, life
Get a life, get a life, get a life, life, life
Get a life, get a life, get a life, life, life
Get a life, get a life, life, life
HASHERS, MEET THE HASHERS
(The the tune of: The Flintstones Theme Song)
Hashers, meet the hashers,
They’re the biggest drunks in history,
From the Shanghai House Hash House,
They’re the leaders in debauchery.
Half minds, trailing shiggy through the years,
Watch them as they down a lot of beers,
Down down, down down down down
THE HARES
And the hares, and the hares
And the hares of dicky-di-do
Hang down to her knees
One black one, one white one
And one with a little shite on
And one with a fairy light on
To show us the way
And the hares, and the hares
And the hares of dicky-di-do
Hang down to her knees
HE OUGHT TO BE PISSED ON
He ought to be publicly pissed on.
He ought to be publicly shot (Bang Bang!)
He ought to be tied to a urinal
And kept there to fester and rot.
HE'S THE MEANEST
He’s the meanest,
He sucks the horse’s penis,
He’s the meanest,
He’s a horse’s ass.
All he does is pound it,
Ever since he found it,
He’s the meanest,
He’s a horse’s ass.
He’s always pissing on us,
He’s rotten and dishonest,
He’s the meanest,
He’s a horse’s ass.
Drinking down, down, down, down,
HIS ONE SKIN . . .
(To the tune of: My Bonny)
His one skin hangs down to his two skin,
His two skin hangs down to his three,
His three skin hangs down to his foreskin,
His foreskin hangs down to his knee.
Roll back, roll back,
Roll back my foreskin for me, for me.
Roll back, roll back,
Oh, roll back his foreskin for me.
Drink it down, down, down, down
HITLER HAS ONLY GOT ONE BALL
(To the tune of: Colonel Bogey March)
Hitler
Has only got one ball
Goering
Has two, but very small
Himmler
Has something similar
But poor old Goebbels
Has no balls
At all
RULE BRITANNIA
Rule britannia, marmalade and jam
5 chinese firecrackers in your asshole
Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang
Rule britannia, marmalade and jam
3 chinese firecrackers in your asshole
Bang, bang, bang
Rule britannia, marmalade and jam
1 chinese firecracker in your asshole
Bang
SHE'LL BE CUMMING . . .
(To the tune of: She’ll be Coming Round the Mountain)
She’ll be huffing like a freight train when she cums,
She’ll be huffing like a freight train when she cums,
She’ll be huffing like a freight train, huffing like a freight train,
She’ll be huffing like a freight train when she cums.
CHORUS:
Singing God, I’m coming, don’t stop now,
Singing God, I’m coming, don’t stop now,
Singing God, I’m coming, God I’m coming,
God, I’m coming, don’t stop now
drink it down, down, down….
SHITONYA
Shitonya, shitonya, shitonya
In Russia it means I love you
If I had my way I'd shitonya all day
Shitonya, shitonya, shitonya
Pissonya, pissonya, pissonya
In Russia it means I love you
If I had my way I'd pissonya all day
Pissonya, pissonya, pissonya
Cumonya, cumonya, cumonya
In Russia it means I love you
If I had my way I'd cumonya all day
Cumonya, cumonya, cumonya
SHITTY TRAIL
S.H.I.T.T.Y., T.R.A.I.L.
Shitty trail (it sucked!), shitty trail (it was shit!),
the hares have gone and laid a shitty trail!
I would rather drink a beer than run your shitty trail,
S.H.I.T.T.Y. T.R.A.I.L.
SWING LOW
Chorus:
Swing Lo, Sweet Chariot
Cumming for to Carry Me Home
Swing Lo, Sweet Chariot
Cumming for to Carry Me Home
I looked over Jordan, and what did I see?
Cumming for to Carry Me Home
A band of angels, cumming after me,
Cumming for to Carry Me Home
Chorus
If you get there, before I do!
Cumming for to Carry Me Home
Tell all my friends,
I’m cumming too.
Cumming for to Carry Me Home
(Chorus)
Sometimes, I’m up, Sometimes, I’m down
Cumming for to Carry Me Home
But I knows in my soul,
I’m heaven bound,
Cumming for to Carry Me Home
Chorus
Reggae Version:
Sing first verse, clap the rhythm, and swing your body
Humming Version: Hum the tune, shout out loud every “Cumming”
Silent Version:
Think the tune, shout out loud every “Cumming”
Men’s Version:
Sing ” Swing Lo, Sweet Chariot, Cumming ” then tilt your head to the side and make snoring sounds.
Girl’s Version:
Sing ” Swing Lo, Sweet Chariot, Cumming, cumming, cumming, cumming…..” leaning back with your hands behind your head and your pelvis thrust forward
TWENTY TOES
There is a game of twenty toes.
It’s played all over town.
The girls, they play with ten toes up.
The boys with ten toes down, down….
WHY ARE WE WAITING
Why are we waiting, could be fornicating
Oh why are we waiting so fucking long
Why are we waiting, could be masturbating
Oh why are we waiting so fucking long
WHY WAS HE BORN SO BEAUTIFUL
Why was he born so beautiful?
Why was he born to all?
He’s no fucking use to anyone.
He’s no fucking use at all.
He may be a joy to his mother.
But he’s a pain in the asshole to me.
So drink it down down down down
AND THEN WE CAME TO THE END . . .
RA says:
MAY THE HASH GO IN PEACE,
Pack says:
MAY THE HASH GET A PIECE!